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You Know You've Been Living in Switzerland Too Long When ...

Someone sent me a link to a really funny post about living in Switzerland a while ago. I was doing some organizing in my inbox today and stumbled upon it again. It's really very entertaining so I thought I'd share it with everyone. Maybe you'll recognize yourself or someone you know in this list.

Matterhorn - Reto Fetz (swisscan) / pixelio.de 

You know you've been living in Switzerland too long when...

  • ...you think it's economically wasteful to have more than one brand of a product in a store. 
  • ...you think spontaneity is OK, as long as it's planned. 
  • ...you think getting up early is good. 
  • ...you get upset in the train when a foreign tourist opens the window causing a draft to go down your back. 
  • ...you actually get interested in the local elections. 
  • ...you know the words to the Swiss national anthem. 
  • ...you expect the shop clerk to say goodbye after you purchase something. 
  • ...you wait for the shop clerk to open the door to let you out of their shop. 
  • ...you prefer to buy in small shops even though its more expensive. 
  • ...you think joining clubs is an acceptable way of meeting people socially. 
  • ...you start studying for a Nachdiplom. 
  • ...you get annoyed when the car ahead of you doesn't turn off it's motor at a traffic light. 
  • ...you look forward to Wildsaison. 
  • ...you're prepared to pay for a local dentist. 
  • ...you're not upset when a public holiday falls on a Sunday. 
  • ...you try to defend cartel based economics to a visitor. 
  • ...you think that plaid jackets with flowery ties don't look that bad. 
  • ...you think it's fair that you can only wash clothes once a month. 
  • ...you wonder why anyone would want to shop outside of working hours. 
  • ...you buy Swiss. 
  • ...you get concerned about all the foreigners moving into the country. 
  • ...you don't mind spending all day in the restaurant at a ski resort, and wonder why all the foreigners insist on skiing when the conditions are less than optimal. 
  • ...you know the difference between Cafe Traesch, and Cafe Lutz, and get upset when others don't know. 
  • ...you become suspicious of people who think independently. 
  • ...you decide on a vacation in the US, planning to buy a car and drive around for six months. 
  • ...you can comment on the quality of english schools in southern England and California. 
  • ...you consider taking a vacation to Florida, but then don't go, because it's too dangerous. 
  • ...you think it's OK to drive slow on Sundays. 
  • ...you pull out in front of another car, to reserve your place. 
  • ...you reserve your table first, before getting food in a cafeteria. 
  • ...you don't worry about your jacket being stolen in a restaurant. 
  • ...you feel like you're broke if you have less that CHF 300 in your pocket. 
  • ...you get upset when someone pays with a credit card, instead of paying cash. 
  • ...you dress up to go grocery shopping. 
  • ...you wear white socks with black shoes. 
  • ...you feel embarrassed when your squash racket grip doesn't match your socks. 
  • ...you wish the Swiss government would do something about their refugee policy. 
  • ...you don't get upset about US politics, because after all they're American. 
  • ...you hope Switzerland doesn't join the European community. 
  • ...you consider food with garlic in it to be spicy. 
  • ...you understand why Chinese food should cost more than normal food. 
  • ...you get embarrassed when a visitor asks for a doggie bag in a restaurant. 
  • ...you prefer Swiss wine. 
  • ...you are willing to pay higher prices, because it ensures higher quality. 
  • ...you wish that your town had expensive garbage bags too. 
  • ...you consider target shooting a 'sport'. 
  • ...you assume that all blacks are foreigners. 
  • ...you assume that all asians are refugees. 
  • ...you start judging restaurants and hotels, giving criticism when your expectations are not met. 
  • ...you think it's OK for a Chinese restaurant to be run by a Swiss and staffed by Spaniards and Portugese. 
  • ...you start referring to the French speaking Swiss as Welsh. 
  • ...you start thinking, 'Why can't they just speak Schwiizerd├╝tsch?' 
  • ...you don't mind waiting in restaurants. 
  • ...your German is better than the waiter's. 
  • ...you insist on speaking German to people that are obviously English speakers. 
  • ...you take a foreign language course, in German. 
  • ...you have trouble finding English words. 
  • ...you stop going out on Monday and Tuesday nights, because you have to work the next day, but always go out on Thursday nights. 
  • ...you don't think it's funny when someone confuses Switzerland with Sweden
  • ...you get upset when someone thinks Switzerland's forth language is English. 
  • ...you know the difference between a Landessprache and an Amtsprache. 
  • ...you stop liking peanut butter. 
  • ...you start capitalizing Nouns, and joining Bigwords together. 
  • ...you think that Generalversammulung is an important event. 
  • ...you start preparing costumes for Fasnacht. 
  • ...you join a Guggemusik band. 
  • ...you think Thursday night shopping is really convenient. 
  • ...you buy Swiss eye glasses. 
  • ...you entertain in restaurants. 
  • ...you decline an invitation because you have to clean your apartment. 
  • ...you think it's normal for a family with kids to live in an apartment. 
  • ...you don't take part in a sporting activity, because you're not dressed for it. 
  • ...you consider it normal to make reservations to see a movie. 
  • ...you are glad of the pause during a movie, so that you can smoke a cigarette and buy an ice cream. 
  • ...you think that large American cars are 'cool'. 
  • ...you think it's cool to drink expensive imported American beers. 
  • ...you prefer fizzy mineral water to tap water. 
  • ...you expect a slice of lemon in your coke. 
  • ...you worry that you don't have the right sort of glasses for the drinks you are going to serve. 
  • ...you throw a party and expect everyone to leave by 11:30 pm. 
  • ...you clean up during parties. 
  • ...you expect dinner guests to help with the washing up. 
  • ...you think that air conditioning makes people sick. 
  • ...you begin to understand the subtlety of the Swiss cuisine. 
  • ...you appreciate the differences between the cantons. 
  • ...you don't get mad, you just answer 'Bon appetite' when someone asks you what's English for 'En guete'. 
  • ...you don't mind drinking Panache. 
  • ...you feel really hungry if you don't start eating lunch by 12:00. 
  • ...you start disliking fast-food. 
  • ...you prefer plain chocolate to candy bars. 
  • ...you have breakfast cereal for dinner. 
  • ...you consider it healthy to eat lots of milk products and lean red meat. 
  • ...you say Gr├╝ezi to everyone, and consider it impolite when they don't say it back
  • ...you don't mind paying $12 for a paperback book. 
  • ...you buy a new one instead of getting it repaired. 
  • ...you realize the subversive implications of doing something 'just for fun'. 
  • ...you think that 3% unemployment is high. 
  • ...you think it was through their own efforts that Switzerland stayed out of world war two. 
  • ...you think that milk and butter prices should be regulated. 
  • ...you worry about the economic hardships that Swiss farmers face. 
  • ...you consider getting goats and sheep to graze in your backyard. 
  • ...you think that wood is 'heimelig'. 
  • ...you start to think in kilometers. 
  • ...you think that a pound is 500 grams and not 16 ounces. 
  • ...you don't feel embarrassed when you order something non-alcoholic in a bar. 
  • ...you only eat cheese fondue in winter. 
  • ...you complain to your neighbor about the noise when he flushes his toilet after 10 pm. 
  • ...you become interested in the myriad of insurance offerings. 
  • ...you call the police when you see someone washing their car on a Sunday. 
  • ...you start complaining about the breakdown of traditional Swiss values. 
  • ...you think that Sunday should be a day of rest. 
  • ...you take part in Jass tournaments. 
  • ...you get interested in Schwingen
  • ...you volunteer to help organize the Dorffest. 
  • ...you buy a new TV because the old one doesn't match the new furniture. 
  • ...you expect to be delayed by road works. 
  • ...you aren't surprised when a perfectly good road is torn up and repaved. 
  • ...you buy a new ski suit every year. 
  • ...you feel comforted by public safety announcements. 
  • ...you prefer hamburgers without the bun, and eat them with a knife and fork. 
  • ...you think that only foreigners use catsup. 
  • ...you expect bacon to have bits of bone in it. 
  • ...you wonder why anyone would want such a big refrigerator. 
  • ...you become concerned about the color of your neighbor's curtains. 
  • ...you put 'Aromat' on all your food. 
  • ...you start judging the quality of the whipped cream. 
  • ...you think that Switzerland's conservation efforts make a difference. 
  • ...you think it's OK to wear red Levis. 
  • ...you refuse to leave messages on answering machines because it's too impersonal. 
  • ...you start complaining about the difficulty of finding really good Bauernschnapps. 
  • ...you expect beer prices to go up after midnight. 
  • ...you worry about getting a cold when there's a draft. 
  • ...you refuse to tell someone your salary. 
  • ...you think that hard work is responsible for the stability of the Swiss franc. 
  • ...you get insulted when reading this. 




Important Note: I did not make this list. I found it on a forum and slightly adapted it.

Original Source: www.airliners.net



© 2013 IRENE WYRSCH "A HUMOROUS GUIDE TO SWITZERLAND" ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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